Merry Mary Kate

I like 'Weeds', I don't love it. The cast is a juxtaposition of highly talented actors and marginally talented hacks. This season they've decided to tilt the scale in the wrong direction and add Mary Kate Olsen to the show. Every time she's on screen I have second hand embarrassment for her, not because she can't act but because her lips look ridiculous. It looks like it hurts to talk. MK's smile practically touches her ears but I'm pretty sure she has to cut grapes in half to fit 'em in her mouth. I feel bad for the kid that has to make out with her cause if it was me, I'd have to continually remind myself I wasn't kissing an ass.

I wanted to hate it . . .

There are three things you can count on in life - death, taxes and a major network's 'most anticipated new show' totally sucking. Well . . . I watched 'Pushing Daisies' and apparently I'm down to two absolute truths. While the concept for the show isn't exactly original, it relies heavily on voice over and the funny isn't that funny; I like it. Maybe I'm just too tired to hate it, maybe a younger me would trash the show and pine over what it could've been. But I'm not going to do that and I'm o.k. with it. The show features Chi McBride whom I've been a fan of since 'Boston Public'. I even watched the entire second half of 'Roll Bounce' just because he was in it . . and kinda liked it (what can I say - the kid could skate). Its on Wed at 8 or 9 or something like that and you should watch it, cause I'm gonna. Oh and the lead character, Ned, can't touch the woman he's in love with, Chuck, or she'll die. Kinky.

Adults 18-49: you're really letting me down

So last Thursday . . Survivor? Really. It got a 4.4 from the 18-49's making it the most watched show for that demo. Don't you realize how this effects the rest of us? You get the responsibility of being the most influential demographic and what do you do with it - you watch ugly people eat bugs. If you're craving reality, watch a documentary and you'll save us from future Johnny Fairplays (I'm proud to say I had to google Fairplay after Bonaduce face planted him last week). When you feel the urge on Thursday, watch 'My Name Is Earl' instead. If you're a fan of 'Survivor', I'm sure you'll closely identify with the characters on 'Earl' - especially Randy.

Actually I'm not so excited and because I'm not, I think I can hide it.

Wanna know a secret? If you're watching a show and you notice the camera never stops moving and there's constantly upbeat music, the show sucks major ass. Its like TV sweet n' low - it sorta seems exciting but you know it isn't and if you keep watching it, you'll get cancer. I was honestly excited for this show - Joey Fat One and a bunch of vacationing Midwesterners trapped in a studio singing for 10 hours, it reeks of youtube potential. Unfortunately, the show is a total turd. What's with the contestant selection process? Why does that part of the show even exist? Some of the people fuck up the words to the song (which are being displayed on a giant monitor) and they still get to be part of the show!! And I'm pretty sure they're threatening to gag people with Fat One's sweaty underwear if they ever look bored or stop dancing. Poor Fat One, if you listen closely you can hear him crying when they cut away to the band.

DVR me ASAP: Five Days

"Five Days, yeah yeah I get it. Its like '24' but instead of calling it '120' they went with a catchier title." I know, I said it too but for once you can reserve your judgment based on the title and premise of a series. Its tough to do considering what we've become accustomed to with 'Cavemen', 'Two and Half Men' and 'The Singing Bee'. 'Five Days' is different and probably the best premiere I've seen this fall.* Its superior for a few reasons. First, its British and everything the Brits do is better than what Americans do - just ask them. Its also beautifully shot, masterfully edited, well written and the acting is fantastic. Stylistically they took chances, this isn't a premium cable 'Sopranos' wannabe like 'Brotherhood' or 'Tell me you love me'. 'Five Days' lets scenes breathe, it lets you absorb what the actors are trying to convey. Most importantly, it doesn't Jerry Bruckheimer music down your throat for 59 minutes. Music is used effectively and sparingly. There's no hyped up drama, no cheesy montages, just quality television. Oh and HBO is giving it almost no promotion so tell your friends, you'll look really cool.

*I have not seen 'Pushing Daisies' but according to the promos its the greatest show ever made.

God Bless Frisky Dingo

Without that show, I would fear for the future of the planet. I guess I'm still afraid we're all going to die of our own stupidity but every Sunday night those feelings are coated in a candy shell of happiness. Each ten minute episode is packed with enough juvenile, sexist, racist, homophobic and linguistic (they squeezed three jokes out of the pronunciation of Salmon Rushdie) humor to keep me laughing for at least 12 minutes. Thank you Adam Reed and Matt Thompson, thank you very much. If I'm ever in a position to give an award, I'll give it to myself . . . but I would think about giving it to you two.


Season one DVD's aren't out yet but someone told me about this new thing called bit torrent? Maybe you should check it out?